Lunatic Pandora and the Black Heart
How foolish I am. It makes me so sad, so inevitably mad, at what the anonymous poet scribed:
“The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.”
He is talking to me, describing me, informing me of how it is. Has he no heart? Though he is right, he has no right to remind me of my plight, especially tonight while I lay on my bed with no light. What the poet said, it rouses me from bed. I stand and look out the window. Slowly, I feel the heart being invaded by darkness. The mind tells the heart not to lose control, but my heart is stubborn, very stubborn. The heart cares not what the mind thinks. Emotions invade it, but it isn’t really an invasion, the heart welcomes the dark emotions, emotions I usually keep in check, and in a few moments, a flood of darkness envelops me.
I hate. I wish ill. I envy. I feel jealousy. I loathe the world. I care for nothing. And when the heart has had its fill, the dark emotions can no longer come inside it, the heart is full. Seeing the heart a bit more calm, the mind speaks to it:
“Are you satisfied? You are selfish and reckless, and imbue darkness in our soul.” The heart replies, “Talk not to me about such things. It is your fault I am the way I am. If you were to do your job right, there would be no need of that. You simply produce no effect. You have me starved, and I have to feed on something. Men much better than you will always outshine you and the women you like will always prefer them. What? You look like you are going to cry…”
The minds then counters, “You say you when it is actually us. While it is true that I may have starved you, just know that it is not over. I don’t cry. Those women have made their choice. Live with it. Now, let us ascend and show them what they left behind. When you reach your peak, they will be demoralized. Come, we have work to do.”
My greatest strength is my heart. It is ironic that it not only is the site of my greatest strength but also of my greatest weakness. It is this weakness that brings out the worst in me. Yet, even this weakness can be of positive use, it motivates me to become a better person.
[I had nothing interesting to write, so I wrote this. Cicero once said: Even if you have nothing to write, write and say-so]
